Roasted Vegetable and Avocado Pita Pizzas

Okay, I’ll admit it. I have a problem. A problem with how ridiculously adorable these little bastards are! Look at them! They’re so cute they should be locked up. Or eaten.

Oh, and I promise this’ll be the last bready recipe for a while. Seriously, tortillas, tacos, burritos and now pitas. I gotta try branch out a little. But I had to share this recipe, ‘cause it’s become my go-to vegetarian dinner. I’m a sucker for anything with avocado, and as far as I’m concerned there’s not a meal out there that couldn’t be improved by the addition of roasted garlic. Spiced crunchy chickpeas and soft chunks of sweet potato are really just the icing on the cake. And if all that sounds like something you can get on board with, then you’ll love these Pita Pizzas.

To save time, you can just buy pita breads from the supermarket. But if you want to go full-homemade, making your own pitas is as simple as throwing together this dough, rolling it into little disks and baking them in the oven for a few minutes. Easy.

Credit where credit’s due, this recipe was ripped off from inspired by Pinch of Yum’s version. Lindsay’s photos are a constant source of deep burning jealousy inspiration, and her recipes are just depressingly amazing so inspiring. I’m not bitter, shut up.

You should be. She’s much better than you in every possible way. Just sayin’…

Chile Con Veggie and Pale Ale Tortillas

I’ve been trying real hard to think of more vegetarian recipes for this blog. Unfortunately, my thought process usually goes:

Meat -> Things that go with said meat -> Recipe.

So I haven’t been hugely successful in that department. Meat simply makes almost everything more awesome. I’m just holding out for bacon ice-cream… wait, that’s already a thing?! Well then. Game-set-match, I guess. But taking a break from meat for a couple of days a week is probably a good idea. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. Or grow healthier, either works.

As awesome as Chile con Carne is, there’s so much going on besides the meat that it makes a great candidate for going full veggie. The trick to a great chile is to use way more chillies than you think could possibly be safe. Just remove all the seeds and ribs, and I promise it won’t taste like the surface of the sun. And once you smother it in cheese, sour cream, avocado and lime juice before bundling it into a warm, fluffy, beer infused wrap… yeah, you won’t miss the meat. You’ll be too busy proposing to your veggie burrito.

Now for the elephant in the room. Choice of spelling. I call the pepper a “chilli”, because I’m Irish. And due to a rather long and colourful history, that means I speak English of the Queen’s variety, as opposed to the Ronald McDonald dialect. I call the dish “chile”, because, in case the “con carne” didn’t give it away, it’s Spanish. As in “not English”. So with that cleared up, let’s be on our way.

Less linguistics, more cooking.

Calamari and Vodka Spaghetti

I’m a pretty big fan of reversing the concept of a liquid lunch. Instead of subbing alcohol for food, turn your alcohol into food. I guess a Bloody Mary is somewhere in between… Come to think of it, this is basically a cooked Bloody Mary, with seafood and pasta thrown in for good measure. You know what they say. If you like it then put a squid ring on it!

…Nobody says that, huh? Well they should.

This is a brilliant dish if you want to make something a little different, but aren’t really committed to spending much time on it. Or if you’ve ever watched SpongeBob SquarePants and thought “Man, I could really go for some squid rings rights about now”. And let’s face it, if you’re watching SpongeBob SquarePants, you’re gonna be feelin' them munchies pretty soon anyway…

The core flavours at work here are the cumin and the garlic, both of which go great with calamari (fancy cooking word for squid). The sauce is a little densely flavoured on its own, and when I first tasted it I wasn’t totally satisfied with the result. But as soon as you add a generous squeeze of lemon, the whole thing comes to life. I honestly just stood there with my eyes closed, chewing and nodding slowly to myself.

So, yeah, don’t forget the lemon. That shit ain’t optional.

Gotcha. Now let’s get cookin’!

Brandy and Chilli Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ho-ly butt monkeys. Let me tell you, I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to make my own cookie recipe. Pfft, cookies? They have, what, 4 ingredients? Butter, sugar, flour and egg. How hard could it be to make the perfect cookie? Turns out, there’s like twenty variables. Butter temp, sugar colour, sugar crystal size, flour type, ratio of egg white to yolk, fridge time, oven temp, cooking time… you name it, it makes a freakin’ difference. Now I haven’t double checked my calculations on this one (or done any in the first place), but I’m fairly confident that there ends up being, like, a billion different possible combinations.

So, long story short, I may have just given myself diabetes this weekend.

But ’twas all for a good cause, for now I can present to thee… Fire Cookies! Sink your mind-teeth into these bad boys. They shouldn’t even be legal, because these sugary snacks are packin' heat! Plus, they’re like, totally not fit to drive. Brandy and chilli flakes, mixed with salted chocolate chips and toasty almond flakes. Slightly crispy edges, with a soft, chewy inside. Heck. Yes. Get festive on their asses eat those baked goods UP!

Seriously, the melty chocolate with the hint of chilli makes these the definition of perfection for cold winter evenings. There’s just enough heat in them to leave a tingle in your mouth, which has the magical effect of making you actually feel warmer. Plus the brandy makes them taste of Christmas.

But the best part? You can make them in the same amount of time as it takes to heat up the oven. No laborious creaming of butter, no chilling for hours in the fridge. Just mix, scoop and bake. That’s like, 20 minutes between the point that you realise you could really go for some cookies, and actually stuffing your face with them. Well, 25 minutes. Gotta let them cool first. Which, by the way, is honest to god the hardest part of the whole process…

You can call me Mister Cookie Monster.

Winter Warmers 3: Seafood, Asparagus and Fried Mushroom Risotto

This is the third in a series of three meals which are perfect for the cold winter months. The first two (Chicken Paprikás and Moules Frites) feed into this one by providing the ultimate stock, so you can try making all three in one week to get the most out of them. You can of course cook this dish with commercial stock, but where’s the fun in that?

You know how you cook rice by sticking the little grains in hot water, so they absorb it and get all fat? Risotto is basically the result of some genius saying “Hey, what if instead of absorbing water, they absorbed something that tastes a little less of absolutely nothing?”.

Today, we salute that genius by cooking rice in something that tastes of absolutely everything. Wine, vegetables, chicken, cream and seafood. Sound good?

Let’s make ‘em proud.

Winter Warmers 2: Moules Frites - Creamy Mussels with the Crispiest French Fries

This is the second in a series of three meals which are perfect for the cold winter months. The first two feed into the third (this sexy Seafood Risotto) by providing the ultimate stock, so you can try making all three in one week to get the most out of them. The first recipe, Chicken Paprikás, is here.

This is like Fish ’n’ Chips taken to the nth degree. Shellfish ’n’ Chips! Now, you might associate a meal like this with lazy summer evenings by the seafront, but here’s three reasons why it makes a perfect winter dish.

One! There aren’t many things as enticing on a chilly day as a big, visibly steaming bowl of mussels. Two! Molluscs spend the warmer seasons, ahem… “gettin’ jiggy wit it” (for serious), so they’re all worn out from the exertion. In winter, they get fat and extra delicious. Three! Well… it’s tasty, innit? Comfort grub, like.

Unimpeachable logic. I’m sold!

Pumpkin Gnocchi with Sage and Crispy Garlic Breadcrumbs

Look at me, being all seasonal! I was going to call this Pumpkin Gnocchi with Pumpkin Sauce and Extra Pumpkin, but I thought that might be overdoing it a little. If your only previous experience with pumpkin anything is in latte or lantern form, prepare to have your mind blown. But even if you’re a regular pumpkin eater, this gnocchi recipe is damn awesome. It can be made with pretty much any squash (butternut, gem, kabocha), but seeing as the shops are currently infested with those big orange bastards…

Brown butter, sage and pumpkin is apparently a classic combination. Who knew? But throwing in the crispy breadcrumbs really adds to the flavour, as well as giving a great crunch. Lemon with pumpkin is used a lot in desserts, so squeezing some on at the end lifts the whole…

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Shhh. You had me at gnocchi.

Irish Brown Bread Breakfast of Kings

Way back in my first post, I promised to divulge the ancient art of making Irish Brown Bread (Soda Bread), and the time has finally come. Brown Bread is the best thing to come out of Ireland since… no, actually, Brown Bread was the original awesome thing. Everything else is “since Brown Bread”.

This is the easiest bread in the world to make, requiring no kneading, no proving, nothing. It barely needs a kitchen. But despite all this, it’s sublime. You can eat it with just butter, or a spoon of jam, but here are two other great ways to enjoy this bread if you’re in the mood for a breakfast a little more… Fancy-Ass.

About damn time!

Smoked Salmon and Leek Pie

There’s nothing better on a rainy afternoon than a freshly baked pie. Well, few things better.

A charming Frenchwoman I recently met threw together this pie in record time. I really wish I’d watched her do it, but thankfully its beauty is in its simplicity and I think I made a fair stab at it.

And if you’re thinking that pastry is too hard to do, stop right there. I hadn’t made pastry since secondary school, about a decade ago (yes, I was that kid who took Home Ec.), and I managed to pull it off. So you can too. Ready?

Mai bien sûr.

Falafel in Pita Bread with Tzatziki

  
Holy hell these things are awesome! For one, they’re way easier to make than you could have hoped. For two, once you’ve made the mix, they can be stored in the fridge or freezer and kept for whenever you get the craving again. But best of all, they taste like happiness. So much happiness.

Give it to me straight, doc