All Day Breakfast Burrito

You know that saying “necessity is the mother of all invention”? Well, random stuff in the fridge is the mother of all recipes. Or at least is was for this recipe. Throwing stuff together to see what works and what doesn’t is a really fun part of cooking. And by damn is this one of the things that works!

I’ve called this a breakfast burrito because that’s when I first ate it. And also it’s got an egg in it. Which I’m fairly sure is, like, Latin for breakfast, or something. But it’s an All Day Breakfast because you don’t have to wait for the man to tell you when you can and can’t eat something deliciously awesome.

This recipe is pretty much as quick as you want it to be. You can make the tortillas and the hummus completely from scratch, or you can just use pre-made stuff from the shops if you wanna save a bit of time. Hummus is crazy easy to make though, so I’m gonna include the instructions for that. Best part is, you can adjust it to how you like it. Want more lemon? Less garlic? You the boss.

Then it’s time for breakfast á la Boss!

3 Cheese, Courgette and Rosemary Pasta

The last tendrils of a fading winter are clawing at the door, the world outside my rain streaked window is one of steely greys and bending boughs.

It's still cold as balls out there.

Spring has most certainly not sprung, and I ain't coming out until it does. So with food being the cure for pretty much everything wrong with this latitude, I've been eating a lot of comfort grub lately. That's where this little creamy, cheesy number comes in.

Don't worry, it's got like... an orange... vegetable and a... a green vegetable in there somewhere. So that's like, most of your 5 a day right there! Just make up the other three with cheese. That's how it works, right?

Yes. Yes it is.

Irish Tacos with Spiced Chicken

With Paddy’s Day coming up I wanted to have a little fun and make a twist on an Irish culinary classic, like… em… uhh… huh. I guess Ireland doesn’t really have much of a culinary legacy. Screw it, let’s just make something with potatoes in it and call it Irish. That work for you?

I kinda made these by accident when I was experimenting with my tortilla dough. Exactly like the discovery of penicillin. Alexander Fleming was trying to make tortillas, right? Only I’ve got a feeling this discovery’s actually gonna change the world. You tried your best Alex, I respect that. But it’s not as though you invented the potato taco.

Yup, you read that right. Potato. Taco.

When I found out that to make genuine hard-shell corn tacos, you need specially treated corn meal, my response rhymed with duck fat. I’m sure I could get Masa Harina from a specialty store, but frankly that’s more trouble than I’m willing to go to. You don’t plan ahead for tacos. They just sorta happen. Like that kid who’s ten years younger than their siblings. We’re all thinkin’ it.

Except no, because I’m thinkin’ ‘bout TACOS!

Tangy Chorizo, Parsnip and Orange Tagliatelle

Freakishly fast yet fabulously fancy, this quirky pasta can be thrown together in no time at all, and has a taste like none other. It’s super comforting, slightly sweet, and slightly spicy. But unfortunately, much like the Matrix, no one can be told exactly how Chorizo-Parsnip-Orange-Pasta tastes… You have to eat it for yourself.

If you want to turn up the dial to 11 on the fancy-o-meter, you can try to make your own fresh pasta to go with it, like in this Oxtail and Pappardelle recipe. But the beauty of this dish is in its speed, and dried pasta works just fine.

The extraordinarily perceptive amongst you may have spotted that I’ve used green tagliatelle. It should be noted that green pasta of any kind is neither healthier nor (as you may have been led to believe) more eco-friendly than ordinary pasta. Practically a breach of deceptive labelling laws, if you ask me. The tiny amount of spinach used for colouring is simply for a bit of flair. And don’t the green and orange just go marvellously together? Excuse me for a moment while I salute the Irish flag, as is customary when weeping tears of pure patriotic pride.

Slightly less customary is putting orange juice in your pasta, but that’s exactly what I’ve done here. It’s a real kick in the ass for your tastebuds, which I love. And if that’s not something you love too, boy are you in the wrong corner of the internet. So… ready to have your mind blown?

Heck, I’m up for anything. Let’s give it a shot!

Calamari and Vodka Spaghetti

I’m a pretty big fan of reversing the concept of a liquid lunch. Instead of subbing alcohol for food, turn your alcohol into food. I guess a Bloody Mary is somewhere in between… Come to think of it, this is basically a cooked Bloody Mary, with seafood and pasta thrown in for good measure. You know what they say. If you like it then put a squid ring on it!

…Nobody says that, huh? Well they should.

This is a brilliant dish if you want to make something a little different, but aren’t really committed to spending much time on it. Or if you’ve ever watched SpongeBob SquarePants and thought “Man, I could really go for some squid rings rights about now”. And let’s face it, if you’re watching SpongeBob SquarePants, you’re gonna be feelin' them munchies pretty soon anyway…

The core flavours at work here are the cumin and the garlic, both of which go great with calamari (fancy cooking word for squid). The sauce is a little densely flavoured on its own, and when I first tasted it I wasn’t totally satisfied with the result. But as soon as you add a generous squeeze of lemon, the whole thing comes to life. I honestly just stood there with my eyes closed, chewing and nodding slowly to myself.

So, yeah, don’t forget the lemon. That shit ain’t optional.

Gotcha. Now let’s get cookin’!

Thai-Style Pork Ball Noodles

Trigger warning: chowing down on this may bring back memories of eating out of polystyrene bowls served by busy street-vendors while tuk-tuks whizz by. If you’ve ever been to Thailand.

My sense of memory is really closely linked to my sense of taste. I’ll get transported by a taste that reminds me of a crab dish served on the Seattle Space Needle, or a fresh piece of sushi from the side streets of Tokyo’s Tsukiji fish market, or a sticky pork dumpling in a Guangzhou dim sum house. And although this particular recipe definitely ain’t the way this dish is made in Thailand, all the flavours are exactly where they should be. And it takes me right back.

It’s not even close to authentic. “Thai-esque” would be a more accurate description. The genuine article is made using stock and involves separate cooking of the ingredients in different pots of boiling water, only combining them as they’re served. But the vendors making it that way are serving hundreds of portions a day, and are using the most efficient way to work on that kind of scale. You’re making it in your kitchen for maybe just yourself. So… not exactly practical to go full metal jacket on this one.

You can of course use stock if you have it made, but what I love about this recipe is that it’s so easy to throw together, and is packed with flavour as it is. It also does a kick-ass job of stocking you up with the tools to fight off those winter sniffles. Garlic, ginger, lime, protein and fresh veggies in broth. Everything the body needs. (Well, not everything the body needs…)

I dunno… Meatballs are a close second!

Cheater’s Steak and Chips with Garlic Broccoli

Ever have one of those moments in the supermarket where you just decide… Hey, I deserve a steak! I’ll be damned if I know what the heck I think I did to deserve it, but it was on special so you can be sure I bought it.

Steak and chips holds a special place close to my heart. Namely my stomach. It’s the kind of thing that just naturally feels like you’re celebrating something. Like the universe has just said “Here you go champ. Have a slab of meat for your troubles”.

And for anyone who grew up with a parent trying their best to instil good eating habits, chips were always a treat.

Why I love broccoli so much… that might take a bit more imagination. But basically it all comes down to a little movie called The Land Before Time. If you’ve seen it, you might already know where I’m going with this. There’s a scene where a small grove of trees, full of leaves, is discovered by our hungry, herbivorous heroes. In moments, they see it descended upon by Long-Necks, who strip it bare before their eyes.

So, I, uhh… Liked to pretend that I was a gigantic Jurassic beast, and the broccoli was a hapless tree. And, I, uhh… Maybe still do from time to time.

Anyway! Put all those things together, (and add garlic, because of course you add garlic) and you get one of my favourite comfort meals. The only problem is, good chips take a bit of effort. As awesome as these fries are, chipping, soaking, drying, blanching, then deep-frying are not always what you’re in the mood for at the end of a long day. Even if you just go for those vaguely disappointing oven chips, they still always seem to take about half an hour to cook.

So I found a better way to do it, for when you just can’t wait to sink your teeth into a plateful of juicy steak and thick chips. And even better, the whole thing is done in just one pan! Minimal effort, minimal clean-up, and tasty as hell. Heck yes.

I can’t wait to get that meat in my mouth!

Shredded Chicken, Mango and Avocado Salad

Did you know that a salad is basically defined as a bunch of raw (or cooked) stuff, cut up and served cold (except when it's served warm)? Seriously. Look it up.

Did you also know that a salad is basically the single easiest meal to prepare? Well it is. If you want the most effortless job at a potluck, volunteer to make a salad. It’s also got the added bonus of carrying really low expectations, so when you actually turn up with a sexy number like this one, even your dad will be proud of you.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted…

The Birthday Cake

The first chocolate cake recipe I ever followed involved simply adding cocoa powder to standard sponge. I was scandalised and thought there must be a mistake, but was assured that this is how it's most commonly done. Years later, when I'd adopted the Tohellwiththat method of cooking, I just added a tonne of melted, high quality chocolate. No-brainer, really. It still rises perfectly, but it's much richer and not nearly as dry.

You don't, as a matter of fact, have to wait for a birthday to make this awesomely chocolatey, cream filled cake. A cake is its own reward. But for general health reasons, restricting intake to once a year might actually be quite advisable. Especially if you plan on eating the entire thing yourself. Which you will. I mean, if it's your birthday and you're making your own cake...

Teach me how to cake! I want to, uh... make it for a friend...

Irish Brown Bread Breakfast of Kings

Way back in my first post, I promised to divulge the ancient art of making Irish Brown Bread (Soda Bread), and the time has finally come. Brown Bread is the best thing to come out of Ireland since… no, actually, Brown Bread was the original awesome thing. Everything else is “since Brown Bread”.

This is the easiest bread in the world to make, requiring no kneading, no proving, nothing. It barely needs a kitchen. But despite all this, it’s sublime. You can eat it with just butter, or a spoon of jam, but here are two other great ways to enjoy this bread if you’re in the mood for a breakfast a little more… Fancy-Ass.

About damn time!

Smoked Salmon and Leek Pie

There’s nothing better on a rainy afternoon than a freshly baked pie. Well, few things better.

A charming Frenchwoman I recently met threw together this pie in record time. I really wish I’d watched her do it, but thankfully its beauty is in its simplicity and I think I made a fair stab at it.

And if you’re thinking that pastry is too hard to do, stop right there. I hadn’t made pastry since secondary school, about a decade ago (yes, I was that kid who took Home Ec.), and I managed to pull it off. So you can too. Ready?

Mai bien sûr.

Three Meat Lasagne with Handmade Pasta and Crème Fraîche

I won’t lie, this started out as an attempt at a 1 hour lasagne. I feel there’s a market for that. And while I considerably missed that target, the end result of 2 hours wasn’t too shabby, considering the pasta had to be made from scratch and rolled out. But using crème fraîche instead of making a béchamel sauce really does save time. I reckon if you used dry lasagne sheets, pre-boiled, you could potentially have this on the table in an hour and a half. But then you’d be reading a different recipe, on a different blog, wouldn’t you? As for me, I’ve a reputation to uphold.

I call it… Fraîche Lasagne. It’s a pun, see? ‘Cause it’s made with fresh pasta sheets. But it’s also made with crème fraîche. See? Do you get it? It’s GENIUS!

I’ve got chills. Really. Now just tell me what to do.

The Fantastico World of Homemade Pizza

Follow these simple instructions and you’ll never eat another frozen pizza again.

Pizzas are like sandwiches or résumés, you can put absolutely anything you want on them. I’m not going to stifle your creativity by telling you what should go on your pizza, I’ll just make some suggestions and you can take it from there.

Ah shaddapa you face!

Honey and Whiskey Roast Chicken served with Chilli Parsnip Fries and Baby Potatoes Simmered in Bay-Infused Milk

Possibly the trickiest meal to prepare is the Roast Dinner. Accurately cooking through the large bird or joint of meat, juggling the timing of the various side dishes, creating a rich gravy that balances well with the other flavours on the table. Many accomplished housewives spend years and years perfecting the culinary skills and building the experience required to serve up a roast dinner on Sunday.

Or that’s all horseshit, and the best kept secret of my parents’ generation is how just bonkersly simple it is to throw together a roast. It looks fancy as all hell, but it really couldn’t be easier.

Why in god’s name would I make a whole roast chicken just for me?

Because it lasts. You’ll get at least two full dinners (or lunches) out of the meat and vegetables you prepare here, and after that you’ll have a load of cooked chicken to do with as you please. Curries, sandwiches, salads, pastas, high-class pet food, anything. Sound good?

Alright, it’s go time!

Ultimate Super Simple Bread Dough

Okay, recently I've been on a bit of a bread buzz. Up until about two months ago, I'd never made anything with yeast in my life. It was always this mystical and slightly scary thing. Baking with yeast involved words like "proving" and "kneading", cryptic techniques presumably passed on from baker to slightly younger baker.

Then I found out that "proving" just means "waiting", and "kneading" just means "beating the sh*t out of". And I've been making bread ever since!

Seriously, this dough is super easy to make and is so versatile, I've been using it for pizza, naan, burger buns, pita bread, fancy herby loaves and everything in between. If ever I say "use some dough", this is the stuff I'm talking about. It keeps in the fridge for about a week, or for much longer if you put it in the freezer. So let's get stuck in.

I was born ready